#METOO Movement Hits Home…

… Finally been able to forgive myself.

October 4, 2018, The Today Show was covering the lastest #METOO revelation – it was Connie Chung’s voice. Chung reading a letter she’d written to the media about her rape. Her words, voice resonated with me as I woke. It was like a lightning bolt, remembering an incident long-forgotten – or not.

This was my post on Facebook October 4, 2018:  

#METOO Assaulted X2 – remember exactly where I was and what I was wearing. DO NOT remember dates. The first time, I told someone (female) the same night – crickets – didn’t tell the second time. Wonder Why?

1968 – Leaving home for college was exciting.  Naive, a ‘good girl’ and rule follower, didn’t have a clue about the ‘real world’…so when someone I barely knew trapped me in a car, shocked. He only stopped when someone began approaching the vehicle.  

When I told two others what happened a few hours later, they said NOTHING. Still, remember how awkward and embarrassed that I ‘told.’ Looking back I don’t think they knew what to do any more than I did. BUT NOTHING? YES.NOTHING. So, when it happened the second time I.TOLD.NOT.ONE.PERSON. I remember feeling embarrassed and ashamed. 

Writing this blog helped me remember the 2nd time. Finally said it ‘out loud’ to a male friend during one Sunday lunch.

Realizing my history helped me understand why I began my ‘crazy years,’ and it has also helped me to forgive myself.  Cannot begin to say what forgiving myself has meant for me. 

Is it any wonder my LLC is “Still Talking” because – Good or Bad – always ‘thought’ I owned my voice. Thankful for Parents who encouraged me to do so.

So many dreams deferred, and so many years wasted. I felt like trash. Thankfully my parents loved me through it all.   

Now?

Peace. Peace beyond understanding is what I now know. Finally, feel like I am who I was ‘meant to be.’ It’s about time. 

What is the lesson I’ve learned? My over-riding belief is love conquers everything. There is not one person I hate, and my goal is to be pure of heart.  Believe me,  have to work on it every.single.day. 

This will probably sound silly to some, but GOD is my best friend. If I stay close to Him, going to be just fine. 

How lucky can one girl be?

Someone I admire greatly wrote to me recently, asking What’s next?

Never really knew until now.

“Where One Day Ends, A New Day Begins”


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Frozen in Time: Change what you say, read, watch and discuss.

Change what you say, read, watch and discuss. 

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Trying

Who do you surround yourself with? It makes a difference. I have been known to use inappropriate language, usually when pushed beyond a good point. Always ask friends and co-workers NOT to surprise me. 

Several years ago someone came into my house and even with our protests made volumes of food my Mother and I should not eat. Then, without warning, they left everything for me to clean up! Going into my kitchen saw the farm-sized sink piled high with dishes with food and flatware still ‘intact’.  The countertops were a mess too.

The piece de’resistance was going to the trash can. A trash bag was replaced by our guests incorrectly so it fell and was useless.  Even tho’ obviously useless, it had been used for throw-away food by our cook. 

One. Two. Three.

In public relations we always want THREE minimum pieces of coverage to make a difference in whatever we are publicizing.  It works in other ways too. I lost it at THREE. Three surprises. 

Does not excuse me.

Yes, I said it, I did. One time, the first time in a very long time. Over five years ago. This was during the time I was my Mother’s main caregiver, I was emotionally exhausted. (It was a privilege to be with her and would do it again in a New York minute.) But was always mentally tired.  Makes me cry now. 

An apology was demanded by email from the cook and family.  It was very hard to do – after consulting a wise friend, I apologized. Tried to create a dialogue to avoid the same thing happening again. The clean-up took two days, think I cried the entire time cleaning. In short, I was told my apology was not genuine and they ‘boycotted’ me, even when coming to see Mother, turning their heads away from me if they passed me in my own house. Their child even turned her head upon the sight of me. I was heartbroken, as was my Mother.  

When Mother died there was a brief apology, only to be followed by a renewed boycott for something else. I have apologized. Was never allowed the requested option of meeting face-to-face. 

Seque today. The sermon was Forgiveness. Forgiveness. Dare I say, it soothed my heart to hear? Do I still have work to do? OF COURSE, believe I always will.  

It’s my hope you will go to this site and listen to today’s lesson. Whatever one’s religious beliefs it’s a good message. It’s a life message. I’ll be listening again.

http://r-c.org/page/forgiveness

Will look forward to hearing your thoughts.

In today’s society, filled with vitriol we need to practice forgiveness more than ever. If in my life I’ve hurt you, I ask your forgiveness.  Life is too short. 

It starts with us. ALL of us.

"Where One Day Ends, A New Day Begins"

“Where One Day Ends, A New Day Begins”                                   Artist Kelly Shipp

 

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Frozen in Time: Change your Thinking and … Can I? Will I? Have I?…

 

Can't remember who 'gifted' me this frame?

Can’t remember who ‘gifted’ me this frame?  It broke in two several years ago. #GodsTimingisPerfect

Changing my thinking was gradual, and in reality, it kind of snuck up on me. My environment changed, friends changed I changed. Isn’t growing and learning fun? Sometimes. Sometimes not. Mine was a smattering of both.

To those who know me well, you know it was an extremely difficult transition, moving to Conway, Arkansas from Nashville, Tn. Do I regret it? Not for one minute. On the other side of this now, beyond blessed. It’s my prayer my journey to change will help someone else.

We’ve talked about the laughs and the fun. The feeling of making a difference has always been important to me too. Did I? It’s my hope the answer is yes. Still fiercely loyal to those I love, my Nashville relationships remain – the ones that matter.

We probably lost the card game, but it was great fun.

We probably lost the card game, but it was great fun.

Pieces of the transition that don’t matter? Learning how to deal with small-town companies. Example: Initially I traveled between Nashville and Conway every three to six weeks. Trying to make an appointment for anything was impossible. “Just call when you get home and we will come out.” what? WHAT? yes. Who’d of thunk? It.Made.Me.Crazy. Seque 2018: Needed an upstairs AC Unit, Emmons Heating & Air has the code to my house, they are a most trusted company, even found other companies equally trustworthy. #JokesonMe

Three years ago I was really, really sick. So sick one Sunday I could not even walk. It was after my Mother died and my sisters had chosen to remove me from their lives Bless Paris Broyles she saved my heart that day and is still very dear to me. I trust her with anything. ANYTHING. That day, really thought I was dying. Called Paris and she was here in less than a minute. Her generosity of time to me still brings me to tears.

One of my favorite photos of Paris.

One of my favorite photos of Paris.

Now? Story after story of ways others have helped me grow, out of gratefulness and then humility.

People have ‘left’ my life before, I’ve left others. Some were painful, some easy, needed.

John 15:2 says “He cuts off every branch in Me that bears no fruit, and every branch that does bear fruit, He prunes to make it even more fruitful.”

Kelly Shipp's "Ice Blue"

Kelly Shipp’s “Ice Blue”

This has been my life’s journey for the past years; My thinking has changed because it needed to in many ways. Today, if someone says something about me to another that is not true, I don’t feel the need to correct them. It’s not my issue.

There is no one else I want to be. I am enough. Sounds trite, but it’s not. Could easily find myself all ‘up’ in the #MeToo movement or any other current ’cause celebre’.

There IS lots of Fake News out there, but there is also good journalism. I feel blessed to know the differences.

Do I still like hearing fun and funny stories of those on the ‘main stage’?  Of course. Yet, I have changed what I say, read, talk and discuss. And I slip up every.single.day. I’m a work in progress. Hope I always will be.

Post #Seven is: Change what you SAY, read, watch and discuss.

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