#METOO Movement Hits Home…

… Finally been able to forgive myself.

October 4, 2018, The Today Show was covering the lastest #METOO revelation – it was Connie Chung’s voice. Chung reading a letter she’d written to the media about her rape. Her words, voice resonated with me as I woke. It was like a lightning bolt, remembering an incident long-forgotten – or not.

This was my post on Facebook October 4, 2018:  

#METOO Assaulted X2 – remember exactly where I was and what I was wearing. DO NOT remember dates. The first time, I told someone (female) the same night – crickets – didn’t tell the second time. Wonder Why?

1968 – Leaving home for college was exciting.  Naive, a ‘good girl’ and rule follower, didn’t have a clue about the ‘real world’…so when someone I barely knew trapped me in a car, shocked. He only stopped when someone began approaching the vehicle.  

When I told two others what happened a few hours later, they said NOTHING. Still, remember how awkward and embarrassed that I ‘told.’ Looking back I don’t think they knew what to do any more than I did. BUT NOTHING? YES.NOTHING. So, when it happened the second time I.TOLD.NOT.ONE.PERSON. I remember feeling embarrassed and ashamed. 

Writing this blog helped me remember the 2nd time. Finally said it ‘out loud’ to a male friend during one Sunday lunch.

Realizing my history helped me understand why I began my ‘crazy years,’ and it has also helped me to forgive myself.  Cannot begin to say what forgiving myself has meant for me. 

Is it any wonder my LLC is “Still Talking” because – Good or Bad – always ‘thought’ I owned my voice. Thankful for Parents who encouraged me to do so.

So many dreams deferred, and so many years wasted. I felt like trash. Thankfully my parents loved me through it all.   

Now?

Peace. Peace beyond understanding is what I now know. Finally, feel like I am who I was ‘meant to be.’ It’s about time. 

What is the lesson I’ve learned? My over-riding belief is love conquers everything. There is not one person I hate, and my goal is to be pure of heart.  Believe me,  have to work on it every.single.day. 

This will probably sound silly to some, but GOD is my best friend. If I stay close to Him, going to be just fine. 

How lucky can one girl be?

Someone I admire greatly wrote to me recently, asking What’s next?

Never really knew until now.

“Where One Day Ends, A New Day Begins”


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Into the Wild: FROZEN IN TIME: Say it Out loud; To someone who loved you then and Loves you now.

Debra and Betty White

Dear friend Debra Brawner with Betty White.Debra booked talent for TNN and we loved working with her. She remains one of my dearest friends. #Blessed.

The Laughs. So many laughs. Funny stories. Going from lots of laughter and joy to well, different is not a walk in the park.

From the laughter backstage during Star Search to Florence Henderson dancing in front of Alabama because they didn’t want her to sing with them.  Even today, when I watch a television show or a movie the background tells me more than the dialogue.

Before Facebook we took photos. These photos are a bit of a timeline to my life in Nashville prior to actually representing Musicians. Television has always been my favorite medium.

Hope you love these #ThrowbackThursday photos!

Our First Earth Day.

Our First Earth Day. Rosanne Cash was Chairman of the organization.  Rosanne and her then-husband, Rodney Crowell performed.  It was a free event for the City of Nashville.  Thanks to Rosanne and Rodney it was a tremendous success.  Even today if I do not recycle something it makes me a little crazy.

 

Watching Rehearsals.

Watching Rehearsals.  Nashville Earth Day peeps.

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David Foster playing for us in Tennessee Governor’s Mansion BEFORE we were KICKED OUT when the Governor arrived. We all laughed till we cried, then laughed more when Lee, in her full-length mink coat fell going into the local theater smack dab in the lobby.!

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Talent Explosion. Dinner at Mario’s with David Foster and Linda Thompson. #luckyme #LovedMarios

Hotel Room -- we celebrated 24/7.

Hotel Room — we celebrated 24/7.

Left to Right: Me; Gunilla Hutton; Cathy Baker and LuLu Roman. #Friendship

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Game Night – Always Fun. #nofilter

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Wonderful working with Jack Hanna and Stella Parton. Booking clients on the same show is Working Smart. Animals + Cooking = Fun Show.

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LuLu singing “Blue Chili” by Songwriter extraordinaire Beverly Ross. Still convinced this would have been a ‘hit’ for LuLu.  However, it was not Gospel, it was Blues  – always my favorite. LuLu Roman, me, Madeline Bell and CeCe Debois.

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Jack with Television Producer Joe Young. They were like Tom Hanks’ character in BIG when they got together. Great friend Susan Shockley made this happen. #Longtermfriendships

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Finally – the reason I located to Arkansas: My Family; My dear Mother.  This memory from long ago lingers: the first national television credit received, my precious Mother took a photo of the television! The memory of her encouragement in my life is somedays overwhelming.  Missing her never goes away.  Would love to talk to her, love her more than I can ever say.

Mother

My Beautiful Mother.

Do I miss friends?  Oh Yes. We do stay in touch and I’m forever grateful we can and do.  Will talk about more of my dearest as I finish this Frozen in Time post. #Thankful. #MoretoCome

Next Up: Forgive Yourself – it’s a work in progress. (AMEN)


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Into The Wild: Frozen in Time; Acknowledge How Important the Times Were.

Into The Wild: Frozen in Time; 

Acknowledge How Important the Times Were

Can't remember who 'gifted' me this frame?

Can’t remember who ‘gifted’ me this frame?

Substance. That’s what I was missing. A ‘good girl’ who got lost and didn’t know what to do with her life. Living really, day-to-day for my own enjoyment. But I did.not.know. When we don’t know, we don’t know.

My saving grace, in retrospect, was relocating to Nashville, TN. Nashville is where I found myself, who I could be. Finding a good group of like-minded friends and a great church changed my life. Gradually and with fervent prayer, I became someone I liked. Dare I say, really liked?

But let me tell you, it was a journey.  Nashville is chock full of churches. The first one I walked into – well – it was less than stellar. That’s for another time.  Otter Creek Church of Christ and Bobby Harrington, the minister, made the difference. Listening to every.single.word. So very grateful for that time of learning and pruning. Yes, not everyone who attends church can be kind, but so many are kind and loving, and more than make-up for those who are not.

Nashville, Tennessee

Bobby and Cindy Harrington

One of the best books I ever invested in, “The Complete Book of Christian Prayer” along with anything from Oswald Chambers are great devotionals. On November 25, 1996 (yes, I’m that old!) the series Purity of Heart is when my transformation began.

Prayer #575 from “The Complete Book of Christian Prayer”

Almighty God, in whom we live and move and have our being, thou hast made us for thyself, so that our hearts are restless until they find rest in thee; grant us purity of heart and strength of purpose, that no selfish passion may hinder us from knowing thy will, no weakness from doing it; but in thy light may we see light, and in thy service find perfect freedom; through Jesus Christ our Lord.

from St. Augustine, 354-430

My parents always told me I was the most beautiful, most talented with the ability to do anything. I believed them. This confidence made me brave enough to try anything, Seeing God in their eyes, their behavior made all the difference for me. Not only did I have their ‘net’   I had God’s.

Was it easy? Not always. Was it worth it?  Oh, yes.

Next up: Facing WHY were they so important?


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