Frozen in Time: Discover what you love most.

I love you. There, I said it. I Love you.

We don’t say it enough. Reminded of a former paramour (NOT illicit) ended his very first call to me with “I Love You.”

It wasn’t two seconds, he called back with a bon mot ending his call “See you later, Buddy.”

He was probably dumbstruck by what he’d said previously. Heaven forbid I’d believe him.

It was all funny to me.  Did I think he was IN LOVE with me? Of course not. It was a sentiment he felt in the moment after a great conversation. His fear was real. Heaven forbid might “LIKE” him or worse “LOVE” him. It’s sad to me so many feel this way about the words “I love you”.

If we weren’t so afraid of what might happen, what WOULD happen? What COULD happen? Well, for starters we might diminish the hate mongering we see so much these days. It’s really exhausting, to read about so much hate. Can’t imagine what it’s like for the haters, how does one’s heart hold that much hate?

Safely, I can say to you I do not hate anyone. Life is too short. Don’t hate those who lie to me – and believe me when I tell you I’ve had a little too much of that lately.

One should never mistake our kindness, my kindness for stupidity.

IF we hate anyone, anyone at all, we are among the haters. That’s where I never want to find myself, how about you?

Let’s have great conversations and tell each other “I love you” before we hang up. Isn’t this a lovely thought?  It is to me.

31252972_10156170176616487_7580621688371412992_n

 

 


facebook twitter linkedin

Frozen in Time: Change what you say, read, watch and discuss.

Change what you say, read, watch and discuss. 

31252972_10156170176616487_7580621688371412992_n

Trying

Who do you surround yourself with? It makes a difference. I have been known to use inappropriate language, usually when pushed beyond a good point. Always ask friends and co-workers NOT to surprise me. 

Several years ago someone came into my house and even with our protests made volumes of food my Mother and I should not eat. Then, without warning, they left everything for me to clean up! Going into my kitchen saw the farm-sized sink piled high with dishes with food and flatware still ‘intact’.  The countertops were a mess too.

The piece de’resistance was going to the trash can. A trash bag was replaced by our guests incorrectly so it fell and was useless.  Even tho’ obviously useless, it had been used for throw-away food by our cook. 

One. Two. Three.

In public relations we always want THREE minimum pieces of coverage to make a difference in whatever we are publicizing.  It works in other ways too. I lost it at THREE. Three surprises. 

Does not excuse me.

Yes, I said it, I did. One time, the first time in a very long time. Over five years ago. This was during the time I was my Mother’s main caregiver, I was emotionally exhausted. (It was a privilege to be with her and would do it again in a New York minute.) But was always mentally tired.  Makes me cry now. 

An apology was demanded by email from the cook and family.  It was very hard to do – after consulting a wise friend, I apologized. Tried to create a dialogue to avoid the same thing happening again. The clean-up took two days, think I cried the entire time cleaning. In short, I was told my apology was not genuine and they ‘boycotted’ me, even when coming to see Mother, turning their heads away from me if they passed me in my own house. Their child even turned her head upon the sight of me. I was heartbroken, as was my Mother.  

When Mother died there was a brief apology, only to be followed by a renewed boycott for something else. I have apologized. Was never allowed the requested option of meeting face-to-face. 

Seque today. The sermon was Forgiveness. Forgiveness. Dare I say, it soothed my heart to hear? Do I still have work to do? OF COURSE, believe I always will.  

It’s my hope you will go to this site and listen to today’s lesson. Whatever one’s religious beliefs it’s a good message. It’s a life message. I’ll be listening again.

http://r-c.org/page/forgiveness

Will look forward to hearing your thoughts.

In today’s society, filled with vitriol we need to practice forgiveness more than ever. If in my life I’ve hurt you, I ask your forgiveness.  Life is too short. 

It starts with us. ALL of us.

"Where One Day Ends, A New Day Begins"

“Where One Day Ends, A New Day Begins”                                   Artist Kelly Shipp

 

facebook twitter linkedin

Frozen in Time: Forgive Yourself.

FInally! I’ve forgiven myself.fullsizeoutput_2cb4

To say it’s taken me a long time to ‘forgive myself’ is an understatement.  I can say this now, I’m past beating myself up. 

Today: I got this purse in the mail from Sherry Shaw Felts.  Sherry is a school teacher, and during summers she worked with our family to help with my Mother. 

Backstory:

Working as PR Director for an addiction treatment hospital gave me tools to be ‘healthy’.  Combined with therapy it is “HALT” that I say if I get HUNGRY; ANGRY; LONELY or TIRED. ANGER came to me too much. Looking back jealously was a big part of the ANGER. The craziest part of the jealousy is that I usually had everything I ever wanted. I’ve also been the ‘victim’ of jealousy, and it’s not fun.  So why couldn’t I learn from this? I’m not sure, today I’m happy to say I don’t live with jealousy, and am rarely angry.

Early on, backstage at an awards show came face-to-face with an artist whose conversation with me could not be ignored.  He made a very bigoted statement to me that I immediately addressed, and it was much needed. Those confrontations are important, and it’s my prayer I will always be able to KINDLY confront someone who degrades another because of the color of their skin.

There is a difference in good anger and inappropriate anger. Early on, it was hard to differentiate. When I knew my words might get ahead of my anger, I had a LOOK. It wasn’t pretty, but that was my way of keeping my mouth shut.

THEN – someone did it to me. YIKES. That night knew I could never do that to another again. Had to apologize to Sherry.  Yes, I’d done it to someone I really cared about — reasons do not matter.  It’s just not okay.

Sherry was gracious and we’ve remained friends, thankfully. Then today, this handbag came in the mail. Can you even imagine how thrilled I was to receive this?  

Turquoise is one of my very favorite colors. Cannot tell you how long I’ve wanted a turquoise purse. This cannot be a more perfect symbol to me of how, when both parties care about friend or familial relationships it remains ‘through thick and thin”.

It’s called adulting. Maybe I finally ‘get’ it?  

It matters who we surround ourselves with, and while I still have times when I want to scream or blow up (yes, I do.) I haven’t done this in a very long time.  

Recently someone really hurt my feelings. I SO wanted to discuss with her but held my tongue. Waited and prayed that I would not behave in a way that would just ‘hurt her’ too. Did I survive the ‘dis’? Of course. 

As humans, we either react out of fear or love. Today its love that drives me. There is not one modicum of hate or anger in me. It’s been a long process, and sometimes rocky, it’s friends like Sherry Shaw Felts who make it worth it. 

My heart is full.


facebook twitter linkedin