Today I learned a dear friend was ‘stabbed in the back’ by someone she thought was a friend. If we’ve lived at all, we’ve had unfortunate experiences, some with friends. A friend stabbing us in the back always hurts more, don’t you think?
Why are we still shocked when something like this happens? Those who are trustworthy trust easier, we want to trust others and believe what is good. Doesn’t always happen the way we wish, and I don’t know about you, but hope I never lose the ability to trust. Trust is a significant component to anything we do, it’s about our character.
Actress Betty White is one of the most trusted celebrities today. I have been fortunate to work with her — Betty and Jack Hanna are great friends — and I can tell you she is exactly what you see — Absolutely lovely and kind. It’s wonderful to me she is so beloved. She makes it easy to say THANK YOU and everyone wants to work with her because she is honorable, she knows what THANK YOU really means. It’s our behavior to and about one another.
Several years ago, another friend asked me to befriend her older sister. The sister had just gotten out of a really terrible (third) marriage and I was told she had no friends. I introduced her to a few close friends and it all seemed terrific for awhile UNTIL she decided the friends I introduced her to should be better friends with her, I was unnecessary. “Why are you friends with her?” she asked our mutual friend.
Needless to say, trust erodes quickly when something like this happens. So that’s why she had no friends! She wasn’t thankful for the opportunity to treasure those friendships dear to me, much less to me for bringing her into my circle.
Everyone loses when this happens.
No matter how close we may be to someone, sometimes we have no idea of the demons they fight daily. Demons like jealously, envy or greed. Maybe it’s more, maybe it’s just fear, not feeling good enough or the polar opposite – arrogance – even worse, both. Whatever it is, we can’t even pretend to know what happens to some when things don’t go exactly their way, I just know it’s usually not pretty.
Consequences for our behavior are real and discernment should go hand-in-hand with trust. We must be smart about who we let in, and then trust our instincts.