Rule #20. Don’t Surprise

Rule #16 explained don’t surprise….It’s my best example of what not to do and why.

I just really want to share a few GOOD surprises I’ve received in 2013.

Surprise #1

Met my first whistle blower!  It was exciting for me to be in the aura of such bravery.  Sometime, when it’s possible, will tell you more, but for now, all I can say is that I love knowing her. Thanks, Lori Capps for introducing us!

Nothing is more dangerous than the TRUTH.


Surprise #2

On the “Country Faith” CD, brain-child of Deborah Evans-Price, I was introduced to artist Jimmy Wayne.  I love, love, love his song, “SHINE”.   It reminds me of dear friend, Debra Brawner – Debra uses the word SHINE regularly — for years I’ve  watched her give others the opportunity to SHINE, me included.  SHINE is Debra’s mantra, and yes, it’s part of why I love his song, AND now, Jimmy Wayne’s music.

 “Country Faith” was my tipping point. 

Remember: It only takes one person to help another SHINE. Who can you help to SHINE today?  tomorrow?  next week?  What will be your tipping point?

Debra Brawner, left with Betty White and ‘friends’ from the Columbus Zoo!Debra and Betty White

Music artist, Jimmy Wayne, sings “SHINE” on the “Country Faith” CD.

Jimmy Wayne

“The Tipping Point”

Tipping Point book

Malcolm Gladwell, author, “The Tipping Point”

Malcolm Gladwell


I don’t miss one. single. episode. of Dr. Phil.  Even watch the reruns on OWN.  This is the first time I can remember being this interested in any television show. I have learned SO MUCH.  His words of wisdom have helped me deal with familial problems since my Mother’s death in 2012.  I understand so much more through his shows about siblings, wills and caregivers.  I am at peace because I know others’  actions have nothing to do with me.  His words, via the shows have given me a peace that only comes with ME doing the gritty work.  I’m on the other side of my hurt now, and joyous with my life.   Surprised at myself, that I’ve actually been able to forgive those who’ve hurt me — and my late Mother — so much.  Blessed.

BUT if I could talk to him, I would ask him to QUIT SAYING  “This is not my first rodeo” over and over and over.  WE KNOW.  WE KNOW.

Dr. Phil

A Night of Honor

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Rule #18. Say Thank you (again, not to be confused with writing thank you notes!)

Today I learned a dear friend was ‘stabbed in the back’ by someone she thought was a friend. If we’ve lived at all, we’ve had unfortunate experiences, some with friends. A friend stabbing us in the back always hurts more, don’t you think?

Why are we still shocked when something like this happens? Those who are trustworthy trust easier, we want to trust others and believe what is good. Doesn’t always happen the way we wish, and I don’t know about you, but hope I never lose the ability to trust. Trust is a significant component to anything we do, it’s about our character.

Actress Betty White is one of the most trusted celebrities today. I have been fortunate to work with her — Betty and Jack Hanna are great friends — and I can tell you she is exactly what you see — Absolutely lovely and kind. It’s wonderful to me she is so beloved. She makes it easy to say THANK YOU and everyone wants to work with her because she is honorable, she knows what THANK YOU really means.  It’s our behavior to and about one another.


Several years ago, another friend asked me to befriend her older sister. The sister had just gotten out of a really terrible (third) marriage and I was told she had no friends. I introduced her to a few close friends and it all seemed terrific for awhile UNTIL she decided the friends I introduced her to should be better friends with her, I was unnecessary. “Why are you friends with her?”  she asked our mutual friend.

Needless to say, trust erodes quickly when something like this happens. So that’s why she had no friends! She wasn’t thankful for the opportunity to treasure those friendships dear to me, much less to me for bringing her into my circle.

Everyone loses when this happens.

No matter how close we may be to someone, sometimes we have no idea of the demons they fight daily. Demons like jealously, envy or greed. Maybe it’s more, maybe it’s just fear, not feeling good enough or the polar opposite – arrogance – even  worse, both. Whatever it is, we can’t even pretend to know what happens to some when things don’t go exactly their way, I just know it’s usually not pretty.

Consequences for our behavior are real and discernment should go hand-in-hand with trust. We must be smart about who we let in, and then trust our instincts.

There is no better thank you than honoring ‘the one who brung you’….and yes, I said BRUNG….Thank you.
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Rule #11 Be Tenacious

How much do you want it?  Really want it? Do you want to accomplish this goal you’ve set? Are you sure?  Do you really want it?  Really?

Tenacious – Merriam-Webster Online

Not easily stopped or pulled apart : firm or strong. : continuing for a long time. : very determined to do something.

I love this word and it’s meaning.

Today I ran into Tim Capps, a much honored fireman in Conway, Arkansas. He is  Husband, Father with two sons, friend, well-known for tireless work in his  community.  When his wife opened her hair salon he went to beauty school, became a licensed beautician so he could support her.  Now, he is ten days away from receiving his R.N.

Ten days.

Meet The Tim Capps Family –

Tim Capps

He will continue his work as a Fireman AND work as an R.N.  Tim said when he started Nursing School he wanted to make certain his oldest son could go to College.  I think he just loves to make a difference.  I know Tim, his wife Lori and his sons have made a difference in my Family, time after time after time.

His son begins college August 2014.  I am amazed. Tim Capps is dedicated to the betterment of his family, he is tenacious.

As publicists, we must be tenacious.   Media placement is tougher than ever, and space in any publication — real estate — is in high demand.  It takes never, never, never giving up.  Never ever.

It is imperative to remember why we do what we do.  That’s why we must believe what we say.

In many instances — to my joy — I remain friends with many media even though they are not covering what I pitch today.  If I had lied to them, fudged the truth even a bit   I doubt that friendship would still be intact.

We don’t have to spill our guts about our clients, but we do have to be Authentic Truth Tellers.

Deborah Evans-Price, Jeanette Thomason, Stacey Scheirer, Vernell Hackett, Marjie McGraw, Debra Brawner, Phyllis Hoffman DePiano, David Perozzi  are media who have become great friends to me personally.  Cannot imagine how less-rich my life would be without them.  And let me tell you I was tenacious every. single. time. I pitched to these members of the media.  To their great credit, they GOT it, they GET it.  And yes, we are all still friends.  If I didn’t know each of these people, I would still miss them in my life.


….and I am still TENACIOUS.
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Meet Deborah Evans-Price –

Deborah EVans Price

 Meet Jeanette Thomason – Jeanette Thomason

 Meet Stacey Scheirer – Stacey

Meet Vernell Hackett with Billy Dean – Vernell and Billy Dean

Meet Debra Brawner with Betty White & Friend! –  Debra and Betty White

Meet Phyllis Hoffman DePiano with Paula Deen –

PHD and Paula

Meet David Perozzi –

David Perozzi