Frozen in Time: Change your Thinking and … Can I? Will I? Have I?…

 

Can't remember who 'gifted' me this frame?

Can’t remember who ‘gifted’ me this frame?  It broke in two several years ago. #GodsTimingisPerfect

Changing my thinking was gradual, and in reality, it kind of snuck up on me. My environment changed, friends changed I changed. Isn’t growing and learning fun? Sometimes. Sometimes not. Mine was a smattering of both.

To those who know me well, you know it was an extremely difficult transition, moving to Conway, Arkansas from Nashville, Tn. Do I regret it? Not for one minute. On the other side of this now, beyond blessed. It’s my prayer my journey to change will help someone else.

We’ve talked about the laughs and the fun. The feeling of making a difference has always been important to me too. Did I? It’s my hope the answer is yes. Still fiercely loyal to those I love, my Nashville relationships remain – the ones that matter.

We probably lost the card game, but it was great fun.

We probably lost the card game, but it was great fun.

Pieces of the transition that don’t matter? Learning how to deal with small-town companies. Example: Initially I traveled between Nashville and Conway every three to six weeks. Trying to make an appointment for anything was impossible. “Just call when you get home and we will come out.” what? WHAT? yes. Who’d of thunk? It.Made.Me.Crazy. Seque 2018: Needed an upstairs AC Unit, Emmons Heating & Air has the code to my house, they are a most trusted company, even found other companies equally trustworthy. #JokesonMe

Three years ago I was really, really sick. So sick one Sunday I could not even walk. It was after my Mother died and my sisters had chosen to remove me from their lives Bless Paris Broyles she saved my heart that day and is still very dear to me. I trust her with anything. ANYTHING. That day, really thought I was dying. Called Paris and she was here in less than a minute. Her generosity of time to me still brings me to tears.

One of my favorite photos of Paris.

One of my favorite photos of Paris.

Now? Story after story of ways others have helped me grow, out of gratefulness and then humility.

People have ‘left’ my life before, I’ve left others. Some were painful, some easy, needed.

John 15:2 says “He cuts off every branch in Me that bears no fruit, and every branch that does bear fruit, He prunes to make it even more fruitful.”

Kelly Shipp's "Ice Blue"

Kelly Shipp’s “Ice Blue”

This has been my life’s journey for the past years; My thinking has changed because it needed to in many ways. Today, if someone says something about me to another that is not true, I don’t feel the need to correct them. It’s not my issue.

There is no one else I want to be. I am enough. Sounds trite, but it’s not. Could easily find myself all ‘up’ in the #MeToo movement or any other current ’cause celebre’.

There IS lots of Fake News out there, but there is also good journalism. I feel blessed to know the differences.

Do I still like hearing fun and funny stories of those on the ‘main stage’?  Of course. Yet, I have changed what I say, read, talk and discuss. And I slip up every.single.day. I’m a work in progress. Hope I always will be.

Post #Seven is: Change what you SAY, read, watch and discuss.

facebook twitter linkedin

Frozen in Time: Forgive Yourself.

FInally! I’ve forgiven myself.fullsizeoutput_2cb4

To say it’s taken me a long time to ‘forgive myself’ is an understatement.  I can say this now, I’m past beating myself up. 

Today: I got this purse in the mail from Sherry Shaw Felts.  Sherry is a school teacher, and during summers she worked with our family to help with my Mother. 

Backstory:

Working as PR Director for an addiction treatment hospital gave me tools to be ‘healthy’.  Combined with therapy it is “HALT” that I say if I get HUNGRY; ANGRY; LONELY or TIRED. ANGER came to me too much. Looking back jealously was a big part of the ANGER. The craziest part of the jealousy is that I usually had everything I ever wanted. I’ve also been the ‘victim’ of jealousy, and it’s not fun.  So why couldn’t I learn from this? I’m not sure, today I’m happy to say I don’t live with jealousy, and am rarely angry.

Early on, backstage at an awards show came face-to-face with an artist whose conversation with me could not be ignored.  He made a very bigoted statement to me that I immediately addressed, and it was much needed. Those confrontations are important, and it’s my prayer I will always be able to KINDLY confront someone who degrades another because of the color of their skin.

There is a difference in good anger and inappropriate anger. Early on, it was hard to differentiate. When I knew my words might get ahead of my anger, I had a LOOK. It wasn’t pretty, but that was my way of keeping my mouth shut.

THEN – someone did it to me. YIKES. That night knew I could never do that to another again. Had to apologize to Sherry.  Yes, I’d done it to someone I really cared about — reasons do not matter.  It’s just not okay.

Sherry was gracious and we’ve remained friends, thankfully. Then today, this handbag came in the mail. Can you even imagine how thrilled I was to receive this?  

Turquoise is one of my very favorite colors. Cannot tell you how long I’ve wanted a turquoise purse. This cannot be a more perfect symbol to me of how, when both parties care about friend or familial relationships it remains ‘through thick and thin”.

It’s called adulting. Maybe I finally ‘get’ it?  

It matters who we surround ourselves with, and while I still have times when I want to scream or blow up (yes, I do.) I haven’t done this in a very long time.  

Recently someone really hurt my feelings. I SO wanted to discuss with her but held my tongue. Waited and prayed that I would not behave in a way that would just ‘hurt her’ too. Did I survive the ‘dis’? Of course. 

As humans, we either react out of fear or love. Today its love that drives me. There is not one modicum of hate or anger in me. It’s been a long process, and sometimes rocky, it’s friends like Sherry Shaw Felts who make it worth it. 

My heart is full.


facebook twitter linkedin

Into the Wild: FROZEN IN TIME: Say it Out loud; To someone who loved you then and Loves you now.

Debra and Betty White

Dear friend Debra Brawner with Betty White.Debra booked talent for TNN and we loved working with her. She remains one of my dearest friends. #Blessed.

The Laughs. So many laughs. Funny stories. Going from lots of laughter and joy to well, different is not a walk in the park.

From the laughter backstage during Star Search to Florence Henderson dancing in front of Alabama because they didn’t want her to sing with them.  Even today, when I watch a television show or a movie the background tells me more than the dialogue.

Before Facebook we took photos. These photos are a bit of a timeline to my life in Nashville prior to actually representing Musicians. Television has always been my favorite medium.

Hope you love these #ThrowbackThursday photos!

Our First Earth Day.

Our First Earth Day. Rosanne Cash was Chairman of the organization.  Rosanne and her then-husband, Rodney Crowell performed.  It was a free event for the City of Nashville.  Thanks to Rosanne and Rodney it was a tremendous success.  Even today if I do not recycle something it makes me a little crazy.

 

Watching Rehearsals.

Watching Rehearsals.  Nashville Earth Day peeps.

IMG_3415

David Foster playing for us in Tennessee Governor’s Mansion BEFORE we were KICKED OUT when the Governor arrived. We all laughed till we cried, then laughed more when Lee, in her full-length mink coat fell going into the local theater smack dab in the lobby.!

IMG_3421

Talent Explosion. Dinner at Mario’s with David Foster and Linda Thompson. #luckyme #LovedMarios

Hotel Room -- we celebrated 24/7.

Hotel Room — we celebrated 24/7.

Left to Right: Me; Gunilla Hutton; Cathy Baker and LuLu Roman. #Friendship

IMG_3416

Game Night – Always Fun. #nofilter

IMG_3417

Wonderful working with Jack Hanna and Stella Parton. Booking clients on the same show is Working Smart. Animals + Cooking = Fun Show.

IMG_2300

LuLu singing “Blue Chili” by Songwriter extraordinaire Beverly Ross. Still convinced this would have been a ‘hit’ for LuLu.  However, it was not Gospel, it was Blues  – always my favorite. LuLu Roman, me, Madeline Bell and CeCe Debois.

IMG_3420

Jack with Television Producer Joe Young. They were like Tom Hanks’ character in BIG when they got together. Great friend Susan Shockley made this happen. #Longtermfriendships

IMG_3419

Finally – the reason I located to Arkansas: My Family; My dear Mother.  This memory from long ago lingers: the first national television credit received, my precious Mother took a photo of the television! The memory of her encouragement in my life is somedays overwhelming.  Missing her never goes away.  Would love to talk to her, love her more than I can ever say.

Mother

My Beautiful Mother.

Do I miss friends?  Oh Yes. We do stay in touch and I’m forever grateful we can and do.  Will talk about more of my dearest as I finish this Frozen in Time post. #Thankful. #MoretoCome

Next Up: Forgive Yourself – it’s a work in progress. (AMEN)


facebook twitter linkedin