2020: the worst year of my life.

Likely this post will be all over the place, as my ‘thoughts and words” are not yet back to normal.  Artist Kelly Shipp

“Where One Day Ends, A New Day Begins.”

February 2020 sold my house and relocated to a much smaller space. Only to fall the first night I arrived. An omen of things to come?  The following is my recall the past Year.
At Baptist Hospital in August 2020 following 20+ falls, learned of three (minor) strokes; the last fall resulting in a brain bleed; AND because of the last fall also told I’m needing a shoulder replacement. 
No. Just No.
Maybe this physical breakdown was to avoid or postpone an emotional one? Finally able to close my Mothers probate, put that heartbreaking debacle to rest EIGHT YEARS following her death. All-in-all i was able to keep a promise to my Mother throughout but it was nothing compared to how my heart hurt seeing such hatefulness and greed from one sibling. 
NOTHING we have is ours anyway, so why the fuss? 
My last fall was a shock, blacked out didn’t try to get up when I came to, my head was bleeding.
Thankful for Dr. Micheal Carson and P.A. LeAnne Griffin. 
It was then realized:
Whatever happens next, I’m okay, I’m at peace.  
Okay so I can get a little dramatic but peace it is.
The caveat: was told later by a friend all my words were gibberish. Since I did not realize this, continued to expound on everything and yet nothing. Some might say what’s new? 
Much of the next few weeks, most days are fuzzy. One of my neurosurgeons did not want me to stay alone.
So God sent Sharon McGhee, 

Telling her how transportation (among others) were appreciated, trying to give her money for gas, etc. Sharon responded with “that’s what we are supposed to do.”

Sharon immediately put me at ease.
Then He sent Kara Flippo, with her husband Danny’s hamburgers. Kara has either called or texted daily since I came home.
Know Dione Vetsch? battling her own health issues found time to bring me soups and more. Wish I was this strong and reached out to others needing help like Dione.
My then-neurosurgeon didn’t want me to be alone. So, my Sister, Dee Ann manned the phone calls. Kelly Booy lived close, we devised a plan I could live with. My sister was to call me every morning. like Lorie, Kelly was always at the ready,
Running errands, brought me food and anything else needed. Most significant Kelly was willing to share her 14-year-old daughter with me.
Arden Booy is Kelly’s daughter. Bright, beautiful, smart. The ‘apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.’  Fourteen years old, Arden is amazing. 
Deborah Evans Price and Austin Hunt knew how to help from their homes in Nashville, TN.  
Lorie Capps IS.A.FORCE. A FORCE for good. Her ‘TEAM’ includes husband Tim Capps and their son Cael. Knowing her forever, had NO IDEA just how bossy she could be, (said with much love and the utmost respect.) sitting in her chair at Salon Cortillo. Lorie Capps is  part therapist, a Woman for All Seasons. Literally no idea what I would do without her. A God send? Most definitely. 
Amber Bailey, my niece works six/seven days a week, yet for the past year she has been  here every time I fell within minutes. EVERY TIME. #beyondgrateful
Been sitting on this post for more than three weeks, fearing I’ve left some one  out. Decided to go ahead and post. Please forgive if I’ve left you out, my memory is not what is was – my memory certainly was never that fabulous…but now? I’ll take it.

“Lift Up Your Headt

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4 thoughts on “2020: the worst year of my life.

  1. Omg. I just assumed you were not in the 20 people whose newsfeed on Facebook I see daily. I knew you had sold the house, I am so very sorry I did not know of these struggles dear lady❤️

  2. OMG Brenda, I had NO IDEA of what you were going through !! I am so glad that you are at peace; peace and God’s Grace altered my life as well back in 2011 and, although I have had to deal with many unpleasant issues since then, I have been lucky enough to have that Peace in my soul and continue to embrace my life and friends. Please forgive me for taking up your blog space with my story, but it underscores the wonderful message underlying your post.
    As you know, I broke my hip ice skating with my kids back in November 2011. After two weeks in rehab, I was ready to be released to go home when my incision started acting up — only to find out on my scheduled release date that a MRSA infection had set into the new hip. My orthopod scheduled me for surgery that same night to remove the prosthetic hip, assess the infection damage, and install a replacement (to be followed, of course, by another two weeks of rehab. Unfortunately, I had no idea what MRSA was and nobody took the time to explain it. I remember being in a pre-op room at 8:30 pm waiting to go into surgery and two nurses wearing what looked to be hazmat suits were tending to me. They kept whispering to each other and neither would look me directly in the eye or answer questions about the infection. Given my tendency to awfulize bad things at that point in my life, I kept thinking about things like flesh-eating bacteria run amok etc., and began to seriously question to myself whether or not this thing was going to kill me. Finally, as they wheeled me into the OR (without having given me a pre-op sedative) I realized how frightened I was when tears started running down my cheeks. At that moment, I reached out to God and said “Lord, I have no idea whether I will live through this or not, but I put myself into Your hands for Your Will to be carried out.” INSTANTLY, my body was flooded with His Peace (and no, they had not yet started to administer the anesthesia) and I knew that whether I lived or died was no longer a concern.
    From that night forward I have carried that Peace with me, no longer fearing death and knowing that when it is my time I can go knowing that it will be God’s Will to take me. Welcome to that club — being a member lightens your load and opens your eyes and mind and soul to truly enjoy the gift of life we have.
    May God Bless you and Keep you.
    All my love,

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