Rule #19. Be free, yet careful with apologies and asking for forgiveness.

Hee Haw logo

When the television show HEE HAW was in full swing I was lucky enough to be involved.  The only person who can make me laugh more than being on set during a HEE HAW shoot is Mark Lowry, so you can only imagine how much fun we had ‘working’…

Mark Lowry on Broadway

Mark Lowry on Broadway, great show at NYC’s Beacon Theatre.

My favorite place to ‘hang out’ was always the make-up room.  It was there I met K.T. Oslin; Johnny and June Carter Cash, so many others.  Needing glasses during this time,  too scared to wear contacts,  I went without both.  Vain much?

Hee Haw Honeys

HEE HAW’s Pickin’ and a Grinnin’

KT Oslin

K.T. Oslin is AMAZING

heehaw-june_carter-johnny_cash-george-lindsey

Johnny Cash, June Carter Cash & George Lindsey

Marie Osmond was there one day with her soon-to-be husband, Brian Blosil.  Passing the make-up-room on my way to one of the dressing rooms, thought the person I was meeting was in the make-up chair.  Standing in the doorway, she was maybe five feet from me.  Looking directly at her — I waved — letting her know I was in the house.  She did not acknowledge my wave. So I waved again, assuming she had not seen me. Staring, probably trying to think – who is that person waving at me?  Maybe she’s having a blank stare, I thought to myself, so I waved a third time.   Still not responding, I waved a fourth time, squinting to see better.  Finally realizing she was not who I was there for, instead, it was Marie Osmond in that make-up chair!

Marie Osmond

Marie Osmond

Realizing my mistake, I said  “Oh, sorry, I thought you were someone else”. (Dumb in and of itself!)

Was I really sorry? NO, since I went directly into the HEE HAW girls’ dressing room laughing ALOT, telling the story.  Then, we all laughed (& laughed) even more.

No, I wasn’t really sorry.

Why did I say “Oh sorry”?  It’s natural when we strive to be kind, to say sorry.  Too casually sometimes.

There’s a saying “If you don’t like someone you will get mad at the way they hold their fork; but if you like them, they can turn a bowl of spaghetti on top of your head and you won’t care.”

dog and spaghetti

As an over thinker, if I need to say I’m sorry, will analyze the situation to death.  How else can it be prevented a second time? I always want to understand why something happened and the reason. It takes time, though.

A couple of years ago, needing to apologize to someone, spent several days analyzing what happened before putting it in writing. My apology was not accepted, rather, was told they didn’t feel sincerity. Really? Really.

A face-to-face was refused, so, I apologized in writing again …. and then again ….yet they came back with the need for another apology, didn’t feel what I said was sufficient.  At that point, seeking counsel, told to drop it because nothing would appease someone who really didn’t want to resolve the issue.  So, I let go.

Guess they didn’t like the way I held my fork.

holding a fork

We do not have control over another accepting our apology.  We ONLY have control over what we say, and if it’s authentic.  We must be at peace with our words, because that’s all we have.    An authentic apology is all that matters, NOT the way we hold our fork.

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Rule #18. Say Thank you (again, not to be confused with writing thank you notes!)

Today I learned a dear friend was ‘stabbed in the back’ by someone she thought was a friend. If we’ve lived at all, we’ve had unfortunate experiences, some with friends. A friend stabbing us in the back always hurts more, don’t you think?

Why are we still shocked when something like this happens? Those who are trustworthy trust easier, we want to trust others and believe what is good. Doesn’t always happen the way we wish, and I don’t know about you, but hope I never lose the ability to trust. Trust is a significant component to anything we do, it’s about our character.

Actress Betty White is one of the most trusted celebrities today. I have been fortunate to work with her — Betty and Jack Hanna are great friends — and I can tell you she is exactly what you see — Absolutely lovely and kind. It’s wonderful to me she is so beloved. She makes it easy to say THANK YOU and everyone wants to work with her because she is honorable, she knows what THANK YOU really means.  It’s our behavior to and about one another.

betty_white_0

Several years ago, another friend asked me to befriend her older sister. The sister had just gotten out of a really terrible (third) marriage and I was told she had no friends. I introduced her to a few close friends and it all seemed terrific for awhile UNTIL she decided the friends I introduced her to should be better friends with her, I was unnecessary. “Why are you friends with her?”  she asked our mutual friend.

Needless to say, trust erodes quickly when something like this happens. So that’s why she had no friends! She wasn’t thankful for the opportunity to treasure those friendships dear to me, much less to me for bringing her into my circle.

Everyone loses when this happens.

No matter how close we may be to someone, sometimes we have no idea of the demons they fight daily. Demons like jealously, envy or greed. Maybe it’s more, maybe it’s just fear, not feeling good enough or the polar opposite – arrogance – even  worse, both. Whatever it is, we can’t even pretend to know what happens to some when things don’t go exactly their way, I just know it’s usually not pretty.

Consequences for our behavior are real and discernment should go hand-in-hand with trust. We must be smart about who we let in, and then trust our instincts.

There is no better thank you than honoring ‘the one who brung you’….and yes, I said BRUNG….Thank you.
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CMA Media Achievement Award

Congratulations to CMA MEDIA ACHIEVEMENT AWARD Winner

Deborah Evans Price!

Deborah EVans Price

NASHVILLE – Freelance journalist and author Deborah Evans Price was presented the 2013 CMA Media Achievement Award in the backstage media center during “The 47th Annual CMA Awards” Wednesday night.

“I’m so honored to win the CMA Media Achievement Award this year, especially when I think of all the wonderful journalists who precede me like Chet Flippo, my beloved former bureau chief at Billboard,” said Price. “The publicists in the Country Music community are the hardest working, most caring people and such a joy to work with. I’m blessed to get up every day and write about music I love and am so touched by this recognition.”

“Deborah is respected within the industry and is highly regarded for her passion for the music, her relationships with our artists, and her creative, collaborative approach to her work,” said CMA Vice President of Corporate Communications Wendy Pearl. “Over the years, Deborah has made great contributions to the development of many artist’s careers as well as championing our legends.”

Her work has helped Country Music stay in the forefront and over the years she has been a strong supporter of CMA’s events including the CMA Music Festival and CMA Awards. Price even wrote a coffee table book on the history of the CMA Awards, which was released in 2010.

Based in Nashville, Evans Price is a frequent contributor to Billboard, Country Weekly, FIRST for Women, GospelMusicChannel.com, PEOPLE Country, HomeLife, and CMA Close Up, among other publications. A respected music industry analyst, Price has been interviewed by key media outlets, including MSNBC, CNN, the “Today Show,” ABC’s “Prime Time Live,” the Gospel Music Channel, CMT, The Washington Post, The New York Times, among others.

A native of Richlands, Va., Price’s father was in the Air Force, and she grew up on military bases all over the world, from McGuire Air Force Base in New Jersey to Kadena AFB in Okinawa, Japan. She majored in journalism at Louisiana State University in Shreveport and, while in college, worked at KTAL-TV Channel 6. During college, she began working in Country Music as a disc jockey at KRMD-FM for four years while also writing articles on Country Music for the Shreveport Times and Shreveport Journal.

A Nashville resident since 1983, Deborah began her career on Music Row as editorial assistant at Radio & Records magazine before landing the editor-in-chief post at Country News. She has served as associate editor with American Songwriter and Country/Christian editor at Billboard. She has interviewed numerous entertainers, including Ernest Tubb, Sandra Bullock, Amy Grant, Third Day, Don Henley, Jon Bon Jovi, Robert Duvall, Chris Rice, Charlie Daniels, 3 Doors Down, Kirk Franklin, MercyMe, Alan Jackson, Smokey Robinson, Brad Paisley, Taylor Swift, Bret Michaels, Switchfoot, P.O.D., and Steven Curtis Chapman.

She was a contributor to the Billboard Encyclopedia of Record Producers, profiling such music industry legends as Sam Phillips, Billy Sherrill, and Ken Nelson. She was a contributing author to The World’s Best Songwriters on Creating the Music That Moves Us.

The CMA Media Achievement Award was established to recognize outstanding achievements in the media as they relate to Country Music. Print and Internet journalists, columnists, authors, and editors; television writers, producers and bookers; and syndicated radio reporters are eligible to win this award.

CMA member publicists nominate media candidates for consideration. The top five nominees are collected and sent to the publicist panel for a second round of voting. The overall winner is presented to the Awards and Recognition Committee and then approved by the CMA Board of Directors.

Previous Winners of the Media Achievement Award:

1982 Jack Hurst

1983 Neil Hickey

1984 Dolly Carlisle

1985 Red O’Donnell

1986 No Recipient

1987 David Zimmerman

1988 Robert K. Oermann

1989 Bob Claypool

1990 Dick Heard

1991 No Recipient

1992 Mark McEwen

1993 Lynn Lester

1994 Judy Massa

1995 Clay Smith

1996 Tisi Aylward

1997 Jay Orr

1998 Chet Flippo

1999 Hazel Smith

2000 Neil Pond

2001 Harry Chapman

2002 Jim Patterson

2003 Denise Quan

2004 Alanna Nash

2005 Mark Bracco

2006 Donna Hughes

2007 Storme Warren

2008 Monica Escobedo

2009 Cynthia Sanz

2010 Beville Darden

2011 Ashley Dvorkin

2012 Jennifer Meyer and Ray Sells

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